the man rules

[irocblue]

THE MAN RULES:
Please Note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the two ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we don't really mind that?  It's like camping.

[F Body]

Quoting: irocblue

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

I still get abused for things I said six years ago

Quoting: irocblue

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

You don't want to know where I've just been scratching

[Roadkill]

All classics.

[Incursus]

yup, nice to remind ourselves of these every year or so

V Funneh and all true

[Kenny]

Quoting: irocblue

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

I hate to say it, but he kinda did need directions.... he did get lost and all

Quoting: irocblue

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

oh so true....

[art b]

they have missed a key one;

after putting on 4 outfits b4 going out,

[when you have thrown ya clothes on in 6 mins]
they ask does this look ok, saying yes you look great,

without looking is allowed.....